Disclaimer: My story contains gobs of profanity. My heavy use of swear words is very likely to be offensive to meemaws, church ladies, and a bunch of men too. While it's true that US Marines commonly spoke with profanities 20 years ago, I have a sense they use profanity less so today. The Secret Society of the Great Pumpkin is a real and secret society of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M University. You will never find one former cadet or student or faculty who will admit they've ever heard of it or they know anything about it. To talk about it is to bring forth the curse of The Great Pumpkin and find yourself haunted and ostracized by Aggies for the rest of your life. No Aggie would want that. This book is my account of my investigation into The Secret Society of the Great Pumpkin, a frightening annual Corps of Cadets Halloween tradition at Texas A&M University.