Why do so many smart, career-oriented, even ardently feminist women end up with nearly sole responsibility for running their households and raising their children? Why does it happen even in couples who had promised to share that work equally? Kidding Ourselves traces the decisions that women and men make—usually unwittingly—before and after marriage, and especially after the birth of a child, that lead inevitably to an old-fashioned division of labor at home. It also explains why change is necessary. As long as nearly all men devote themselves first and foremost to paying work, they will on average outearn women, who reduce their hours and travel in their paying job once they have a child. With this groundbreaking book, Rhona Mahony suggests practical ways to bring men into child raising and end the unfair burden of women's second shift.